She's Pretty
(Beth McCarthy)
In honor of Pride, I am sharing with you a running list I keep in my notes app.
It’s a list of people (or pieces of culture or moments in time) that, in retrospect, make it extremely clear that I’ve always been queer.
These memories range from elementary school through adolescence and are in no particular order. I will be taking no follow-up questions.1 The girls who get it, get it.
Harriet the Spy
The 1996 film, of course, but also the book and the character and the whole general vibe.2
Emma Watson and Bonnie Wright (aka Hermione and Ginny in the Harry Potter movies)
I was simply SO fixated on them and how pretty they were for totally normal and straight reasons. (Suck on that, JKR.)
Carly and Sam in iCarly
Sam is gay, I just can’t prove it.
source: reddit
Alexa Vega in Spy Kids
She’s gay, I just can’t prove it.
Emily Osment in Hannah Montana
She’s gay, I just can’t prove it.
Except, maybe I can prove it… source:
Alyson Stoner in Cheaper by the Dozen, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, and Camp Rock
They’re gay and I CAN PROVE IT. (I’ve never been wrong.)
The greatest betrayal I’ve ever experienced at the hands of a film director was when THIS ICON…
…went on a date with a boy.
AnnaSophia Robb
Look, I just thought she was SO pretty and talented in Bridge to Terabithia and Because of Winn-Dixie and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and also Samantha: An American Girl Holiday.
Broadway Kids
The 2004 Summer Olympics
At the age of nine, I was inexplicably a huge fan of the American gold medal beach volleyball players, Kerri Walsh and Misty May.
Bend It Like Beckham
Obviously.
Diana Agron in Glee
Self-explanatory.
Kelsi in High School Musical
Maybe also self-explanatory?
Nala and Kiara in Lion King 2
Perhaps less self-explanatory but I still won’t be explaining.
Hayden Panettiere in Heroes
I may not have known that I was bisexual yet in middle school when my family watched this show together on Netflix’s brand-new innovative video-on-demand service… But some part of me knew deep down that Hayden Panettiere was, and I was vindicated two full decades later.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow and Tara, yes, of course, but also…
Buffy herself, and OF COURSE…
Faith.
Olivia Wilde in House, MD
I would come home from high school frequently either because I was sick or because I had an extra free period for my online Italian class. If you’re thinking, “but Isabel, you don’t speak Italian…”, you would be correct. I spent most of those free periods instead watching House, NCIS, Law and Order: SVU, and whatever else was syndicated on USA Network in the middle of a weekday afternoon.
Pirates of the Caribbean
Heartstopper was never as accurate as when they included Pirates of the Caribbean as an integral part of Nick’s bisexual journey. Like… Kiera Knightley AND Orlando Bloom? Deeply confusing. And also illuminating.
Rose Tyler from Doctor Who
River Song from Doctor Who
Amy Pond from Doctor Who
Jack Harkness from Doctor Who
Bisexual king.
Sorry, omnisexual king. (Inclusive of aliens.)
I was so fascinated by him that it spilled over into a fascination with the actor John Barrowman. Turns out he was a creep and would walk around set with his dick out non-consensually, but I was not aware of that as a 12 year old, so…
I had his album Another Side downloaded to my Sandisk Sansa mp3 player and honestly, I stand by that, his cover songs slap.
Katherine McPhee on American Idol
Bummer that she sucks now (source: hosted a Spencer Pratt fundraiser and I think is also vaguely Trumpy, but am not willing to Google any further to find out).
KT Tunstall
If you loved the album Eye to the Telescope at the age of 10, you’re queer now.
To be clear, this was BEFORE “Suddenly I See” appeared in The Devil Wears Prada. I was an early adopter.
I would listen to this album on the aforementioned Sansa mp3 player on the bus in London when we lived there in 6th grade. I have a vivid memory of taking a red double decker bus with my mom and brother to a pub somewhere to meet some friends and the pub had “cherry” in the name (Cherry Lane? Cherry Inn?) and I felt very cool and clever listening to “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” as we approached.
Emma Stone
Always, but specifically when I was in high school and she was in her Easy A, Crazy, Stupid Love era.
The 2002 film Whale Rider
I remembering watching this movie with my dad in our den with the navy blue floor and boxy old TV that lived behind a closet door. It’s about a 12-year-old who wants to be the chief of her Māori tribe, which is forbidden for women. Idk, vibes seem queer.
I also loved the whales. Huge whale fan and aspiring marine biologist as a child.
Rizzo in Grease
Something about a 34 year old woman playing a teenager with short hair and a bad attitude…
Blake Lively in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Specifically that scene where they’re all playing soccer at soccer camp.
Payson and Kaylee from Make It or Break It
I loved that weird intense gymnastics show for completely normal, straight reasons.
Emily in Pretty Little Liars
She was gay and I was fascinated by that.
Naomi and Emily in Skins (UK)
They were gay and I was fascinated by that.
Kaya Scodelario in Skins (UK)
She was not gay but I was EXTREMELY fascinated by her.
This Skins (UK) poster was one of maybe five posters I brought with me to my college dorm, including ones from The West Wing and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. So basically, Aaron Sorkin and hot British teenagers. Which is, frankly, the best introduction for my freshman roommate Grace to get for, like… my whole deal as a person.
Anyway, the main takeaway from this list is apparently that television made me gay.
Here’s a little gay playlist for u too, happy pride babies <3
(I actually will take follow-up questions, I would truly love to discuss any of these list items with you, as well as what you would put on your own personal gay lists.)
Please read my ode to Harriet here:
I had the great privilege a couple years ago of meeting Eden’s brother through work and… look, I’m in a profession where I get to meet a lot of very cool, interesting, sometimes famous people… when I tell you I have NEVER had a harder time being normal than I did when I met the brother of this girl (not even the girl herself!!!!!) whose voice I used to listen to sing Castle on a Cloud from a CD player as I lay on my stomach and pored over the liner notes in the middle of my bedroom carpet…
Lacey IS absolutely Lacey Chabert of Hallmark fame. Please read my thoughts on her greatest ever film performance, Hot Frosty, here:
Cackling at how much I relate to this list despite having almost no pop culture exposure as a child! Hayden Panettiere in Heroes had a chokehold on me for ~normal~ reasons, as did Bend it Like Beckham and everything Emma Stone did in that era. I was also very interested in Kerri Walsh and Misty May despite being 0% sporty so....interesting stuff here!!!
Well it’s now apparent to me that we had the same childhood! (Minus the living in London part but I did LOVE that horse and a cherry tree song on my cd player)