Frosty the Snowman
(Fiona Apple) (but also basically every musical artist ever)
Today, I present to you…another movie review. The spiritual successor to my September post about Stuart Little (1999):
I watched Netflix’s Hot Frosty last night. I had been reliably informed that it was a “genuinely good movie”, despite the bizarre premise: snowman magically comes to life, is hot, falls in love with small-town girl.
Sure, why not.
So, I lit a candle. I made myself a mug of Trader Joe’s deliciously rich sipping chocolate with oat milk (and Benefiber stirred in, because I am nearly 30 and conscious of my bowel health). I got cozy on my couch.
And, look… Hot Frosty told me exactly what it was. It did not deceive me. The snowman sure did come to life. He sure was hot (if you like that sort of thing, which I don’t particularly). And he sure did fall in love with Hallmark holiday queen, a.k.a. Gretchen from Mean Girls, Lacey Chabert — or at least they kissed a couple times, if you consider that to unilaterally indicate love.
But really, much like Stuart Little (1999), Hot Frosty (2024) is a morality tale, one that reckons with accessibility, innocence and abuse of power, and the role of law enforcement in society.
First of all: the snowman (whose name is Jack, from the name-tag on the sleeveless coveralls he shoplifts) is melting.
Duh. He is made of snow. He thrives outside in the cold winter air, but his new townspeople friends mostly exist indoors. Because they are human beings. So Jack, when he’s on his own (fixing his landlord/love interest Kathy’s roof, for example), he goes shirtless in the snow. When he’s inside instead, he sweats profusely. He eats ice cubes and chugs cold water to stave off the melting.
Fundamentally, the town’s infrastructure is not built to accommodate someone with Jack’s temperature needs. He does not fit the physiology of the “normal” townspeople. Even the town doctor is baffled and assumes her thermometer is broken when it reads his body temperature as below freezing.
Jack is unfazed. Perhaps he should be fazed, but he is essentially a child (more on that later) and his golden retriever energy means he pushes through physical discomfort in order to make others smile. He sweats in Kathy’s diner, he sweats in front of the TV in her living room, he sweats in the local middle school gym helping decorate for their winter dance.
He is sweaty all the time and I do not like it.
I may not like it, but this man deserves to be accommodated in his adopted town. And, to be fair, he mostly is! He is supplied with ice cubes as needed. Kathy sets up fans in her diner’s kitchen when he wants to help with the Christmas Eve party.
The only person who does not respect Jack’s accessibility needs is, of course, the town sheriff. Which brings me to my next point: Hot Frosty (2024) is fundamentally an indictment of the criminal justice system.
The sheriff, played by Craig Robinson, a.k.a. Darryl from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, is engaged in a man-hunt. Or rather…a snowman-hunt. (hehe) (sorry)
He is determined to find the vagrant responsible for the recent crime spree in the small peaceful town of Hope Springs. For the record, the crime spree was: streaking in the middle of the night (traumatizing an old man named Mortimer and delighting his wife Ethel), breaking the glass of the local vintage store, and stealing one pair of coveralls and boots that belong to the owner. Jack soon replaces the broken glass and offers to return the stolen clothing. The shop owners refuse and do not wish to press charges. They have informed the sheriff they are not bothered and actively do not want this pursued.
But Sheriff Nate insists. He is obsessed. A charitable view might be that he feels responsible for the town’s safety and propriety. More accurately, I believe, is that he wants to be keep his job and needs to appear “hard on crime.” (Sheriffs do not actually have to pursue every single case in their jurisdiction. See Sheriff Salazar in Texas after Roe v. Wade, for example!) In the peaceful town of Hope Springs, Sheriff Nate doesn’t get many opportunities to prove himself. This is his chance to show off, to garner a reputation as a hard-ass.
No one likes that, Nate. No one likes you.
(As an aside, it is an interesting choice to have the only named Black character in the movie be the uncompromising, obsessive, harsh police chief who cares little for the wishes of victims or the rights of suspects, yet is also goofy and ridiculous. Simply… interesting.)
Sheriff Nate is intent on finding and detaining Jack. When he eventually succeeds, in the climax of the movie, he pays no heed to his suspect’s obvious medical emergency. It is too warm in the police station and Jack is melting.
The sheriff sets bail at $2000, too high for Kathy to pay off. Certainly too high for Jack himself, since he has been a person with flesh for only two weeks and does not have a bank account, as far as I can tell. (Or a social security number. Or birth certificate…This guy is gonna have a lot of paperwork to figure out.)
As Jack melts, sweating profusely in a way that is deeply unpleasant to watch, Kathy runs back to the diner. She empties the safe, but comes up short. (A commentary on the economics of a local small business?) In a moving scene of mutual aid and community care, the whole town comes together in front of the police station. They collectively raise $1990. Who contributes the final $10, but adult snowman Jack’s middle school-aged human friend…and Sheriff Nate’s own son.
The scene is troubling: dozens of townspeople passing around a hat to collect cash contributions, pleading desperately with the sheriff to release Jack before he dies in the detainment cell. It could be It’s a Wonderful Life, if George Bailey had been made of snow and actively melting, rather than in financial ruin.
The image of Sheriff Nate standing above the town on the police station stairs, the sole voice in deciding Jack’s fate, is a harrowing one. This one man, because of his job title and the badge on his chest, will unilaterally determine whether Jack lives or melts. He ultimately does the right thing, moved by the actions of his son. But why should Jack’s state as solid or liquid hinge on the heartstrings of one man?
That, of course, is what happens every day in the criminal justice system.
My last point of discussion for Hot Frosty (2024) is something that it shares with Poor Things (2023), starring Emma Stone. (Poor Things is an Oscar-winning film and therefore worthy of comparison with Hot Frosty.) This is a similarity my friend Cari pointed out and I can’t stop thinking about it: both movies feature romances between one normal adult person and one person who is, at least initially, functionally a child.
Emma Stone’s Bella Baxter dances innocently through the film, learning how to speak and eat with a fork and have sex. Dustin Milligan’s Jack the Snowman too moves through the world with childlike wonder. That’s a nice way to say… Another way is that he doesn’t know how to do anything. Everything he does know, he learns from watching TV: the cooking channel, a home improvement channel, etc.
I suppose some might call it endearing. I personally….find it unsettling. Like, hello? This is a child!!!
When he tells Kathy he loves her (a sentiment she, at first, rightfully spurns), it’s like a pet dog licking your face. He’s expressing love that, sure, he probably genuinely feels…but it’s not at all the same as grown-up human romantic love.
And yet! They kiss! At a middle school dance, no less, which is…something…
When Jack becomes human (sorry, spoiler), they begin a real actual relationship. Kathy…girl… him being a snowman should not have been your only barrier… How about the fact that he has been alive for TWO WEEKS?! You’re dating a newborn infant, if you really think about it.
But you know what… this movie told me exactly what it was from the very beginning. It did not pretend to be anything else. And you gotta respect that.
All of that said…I hope you enjoy the movie. Don’t let me dissuade you. I seek only to enrich your film-watching experience, not to sully it.
And if Hot Frosty (2024) is not what you’re looking for to get you in the holiday spirit, I understand. May I offer as an alternative, my playlist “sad girl december”?
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